


Business Ventures

by alicat54c



Category: Monsters Inc (2001), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: AU, Crossover, Gen, Good!Pitch, IDK why this doesn't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 16:52:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3389165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicat54c/pseuds/alicat54c
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The Dark Ages! That was one of my more enjoyable vacations from the office. Unfortunately when I got back the monsters were in an uproar. The paperwork alone was a nightmare." Long ago Pitch was asked to house a population in need. No one could predict the repercussions, especially not Jack Frost. AU, where Pitch is an ok guy, but a terrifying boss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Business Ventures

Long ago in a place forgotten by history...

A thing with more eyes than was wise crept through the darkening town, faint screams echoing on the wind.

"So I hear that you have been looking for me." The shadows stirred, an elegant silhouette looming against the brick.

The thing froze, terrified, but nodded vigorously.

The shadow smirked, listening with pleasure to the screams born on the wind. It turned back to the beast. "The work of your people I assume?"

It nodded again, more confidently than before, a forked tongue flicking between its sharp teeth. "I would beg a favor from you, Lord Pitch Black."

The shadow cocked its head to the side. Usually he would not acknowledge such requests for his attention, however these...monsters were oddly amusing. He grinned. "I'm listening."

...

...

The Future, after a fiasco involving a young human girl called 'Boo'.

"Henry J. Waternoose the Third," a voice smooth as shadows cut the silence.

The monster's legs scraped nervously against the floor, eyes fixed on the looming chair back. A bead of sweat dripped into his eighth eye, but he could not move to brush it away.

"Tisk tisk. Now what ever will I do with you?" The chair back turned revealing a grey skinned humanoid being dressed in a black robe like suite.

"M-mr. Black, I can explain!"

"Really?" Spidery fingers steepled under yellow eyes. "Please do go on."

"It would solve the power crisis and save the city!" Waternoose babbled. "It would be for the betterment of all monster kind! Kids today need more to scare them!"

"I see, and you planed to help the city by stealing children?"

"Yes! I-" the words choked in the arachnid's throat as pure fear raged through him.

"Mr. Waternoose, do you know what powers this realm?"

"Scream?"

"No. That is simply a byproduct. What powers this city is belief. Belief in me, to be specific. Which is why, despite how many monsters there are, there is only one Boogyman."

Waternoose gulped.

"Belief is a very strange thing in humans. It contains all the assuredness that something is real without the benefit of fact. Once something becomes factual it is processed by a completely different area of a human's brain, and no longer contains the same power as belief."

"Now, just for a moment imagine what would happen should the children who believe in me suddenly vanish from their beds! Proof that monsters exist, other than the strange fevered imaginings of frightened children? Oh dear, it seems we have crossed out of belief. How unfortunate."

"Please, Mr. Black, I had no idea! Give me another chance with the company, I'll do it right next time!"

"Oh how precious," grey hands steepled, "You think you get a next time." Two yellow eyes bore into eight. "You are an imbecile who I do not wish to suffer more of, so I'm just going to get rid of you."

"No! You can't banish me!"

Pitch stood, shadows looming behind the dark desk. "Banishment? How quaint. No, I was thinking something a bit more permanent than that."

"You can't do that! There are laws-"

"Made by me. You see when your ancestors asked to become citizens of my realm, I made sure that several conditions were met before I agreed." He strode around to the monster, frozen in his seat. "I protect the happy healthy lives of my citizens, and on occasion if that means handling it more harshly than others, well..."

Pitch's eyes glowed in the darkness. "So Mr. Waternoose, answer truthfully, have you ever been scared to death?"

...

...

Paperwork was among one of the most tedious creations, Pitch decided. Numbers and descending graphs culminating in a photograph of a tarnished globe lay on the pages. He pulled out another file, his one showing a comatose arachnid like creature, all eight of its eyes staring into space. Pitch snorted, some people just can't handle their own fears. The imbecile.

The intercom buzzed interrupting his musings. "Mr. Black, a Mr. James P. Sullivan here to see you sir."

He pressed a button. "Thank you Gladdice, please send him in."

The door clicked and a light blue horned head peaked around the corner, eyes wide in a way unbefitting of the top scarer.

The head moved back outside. "So I just-"

"Just go right in and sit down," Gladdice's flat voice instructed.

"Oh, uh thanks." The monster shuffled into the room to the lone chair in the room. His knees bumped against Pitch's desk, causing the pitcher to tremble.

A grey spidery hand stayed the glass's movement, eyes not moving from the documents in front of him.

The monster fidgeted with the fabric cushion of the hard backed chair, till with an abnormally loud Rrrriiiip! his claws tore through. Pitch looked up, golden eyes narrowed.

"Is there something I can help you with Mr. Sullivan?"

"Er, no, I mean yes, I mean-" the monster took a deep breath. "I think I can help you, sir."

The Boogeyman folded the papers, placing his hands neatly on top. "And pray tell what can you help me with?"

The hulking monster straightened in his seat, claws scraping the chair's base. Blue eyes darted around the room, looking at anything but the powerful man sitting in front of him. He took a breath, eyes closed, and stared straight into Pitch's face.

"The factory needs a new direction or it will close down. Scream doesn't work anymore, so why not switch to something else?"

"What would you suggest?"

"Well instead of scaring kids, why not make them laugh?"

"And where did you come up with such an idea Mr. Sullivan?"

"During the, uh... Waternoose Incident, I noticed that, uh, laughter was a better source of power than screams."

Pitch looked deep into the blue purple spotted monsters eyes, searching for some thing Sully couldn't identify.

Pointed teeth grinned. "Mr. Sullivan, I do believe that will be all."

The monster got up from his seat, nearly upsetting the pitcher once again, and walked from the office just slow enough to be polite.

Pitch's grin faded behind his steepled fingers. A fine sheen of ice tickled the edges of the now vacated chair. He glowered at the foreign magic and tapped the intercom on his desk. "Gladdice, clear my schedule. I will be out of touch for the foreseeable future."

"Yes Mr. Black. Anything else?"

"No."

...

...

Pitch stepped through a closet door into the tiny village in Nepal, moonlight streaming through the open window. Quiet as a shadow, he ghosted around the sleeping child into the snow outside of the warm house.

"Manny, it has been a while hasn't it?" The moon did not answer, but Pitch smiled anyway. "Ah yes, the Dark Ages! Those were a laugh weren't they! That was one of my more enjoyable vacations from the office. Unfortunately when I got back the monsters were in an uproar. The paperwork alone was a nightmare."

The moonbeams glimmered. Pitch laughed. "Yes, I know, but one day you will know the horrors of management paperwork, and I will be laughing at you!"

The moon made no sound. Pitch rolled his eyes. "Yes, well I'm here on business at the moment, so if we could catch up later?"

Giving a half nod to the Moon, the black spirit melted into the shadows.

...

...

Being near other beings of his kind was an exercise in sharing. Just as Pitch instinctively knew the 'unknown' someone feared, the Easter Bunny knew secrets hopes, and the Sandman knew dreams.

Not knowing how to find the person he sought, Pitch sought out the lesser of two evils to help him search. It did not bother him if North knew what caused him to wonder. His only other option was the Tooth Fairy and her innate ability to read his mind...he shuddered. That woman probably had more blackmail than fairies at this point.

An elf jingled over and offered up a tray. Pitch scowled at the mug of eggnog, sending the creature scurrying away. Those elves could not be sanitary.

"Pitch Black!" The door in the corner of the room banged open, expelling a wall dressed in red. Santa Clause approached arms spread wide for a hug, but Pitch quickly snatched one of his hands for a shake. The Guardian of Wonder did not look offended as he clasped Pitch's grey hand between his own.

"I have not seen you in many years, my friend. What brings you here now?"

"I was wondering if I could ask you for assistance, Nicolas St. North."

"Please, just North!"

Pitch nodded, settling back onto the couch. He had only met North a handful of times over the years, the man having been made a guardian well after Pitch's acceptance of the monsters in his realm, but apparently to the other immortal that was enough to found a friendship over.

"What can I be helping you with?" North boomed, offering a plate of cookies. Pitch grimaced and shook his head.

"Someone had expended some magics upon one of my citizens. I would like the perpetrator found so that I may speak with them."

"Your monsters are harmed?" North's dark brows rose. Pitch knew that some of the Yeti in the workshop occasionally crossed into Monstropolis to see the sights. One even married a nice girl in the suburbs. Pity their son, the Abominable Snowman, went and got himself exiled.

"No, not harmed, just influenced." He reached into his coat and retrieved a block of ice. "It clung so thickly to my monster's fur, it froze my water jug."

He handed North the ice block, patiently waiting while the guardian scrutinized it at every angle.

"What did it make monster do?" North asked.

Pitch shrugged. "Gave his some revolutionary ideas about laughter and fun. Caused the scare factory to be shut down."

Blue eyes narrowed. North never did agree with his methods, but knew better than to interfere so long as it did not cause any harm to the children of the world.

"I know one who maybe did this. You know Jack Frost?"

Pitch shook his head. "I don't leave the office much. Who is he?"

"He brings Fun to children with the snow. Very mischievous. Could be who you are looking for. Would you be wanting me to call him for you?"

Pitch smiled. "I would be very grateful if you would. Could I also impose a bit longer and borrow your sitting room for a meeting with Mr. Frost?"

North chuckled. "Is no problem my friend! Do you want a tour of my Workshop while you wait? I can go ask Phil."

"No thank you, I think I shall wait here."

North shrugged as he rose from the armchair. "Ok. I be back before you can open a closet."

...

...

Jack was not sure what he was expecting when two yeti stuffed him in a sack and threw him into a magic portal, however the ominously empty and shadowed office stuffed with red cozy couches was not it.

The lock clucked loudly behind him as the toy makers exited, sealing the frost sprite inside.

Wrestling himself free of the sack, Jack banged his fist against the door. "What's the big idea!" he shouted. "Why'd you bring me here?"

"You are here, because I requested your presence."

Jack's heart leapt in his chest, which was a feat considering it had not beat in over three hundred years. He spun around, staff at the ready to confront the speaker.

Standing quietly in the corner an ashen figure blended seamlessly into the darkness, save for his piercing yellow eyes.

"Wh-who are you!" Jack demanded.

The man- it was shaped like a man anyway- smiled. The expression might have been reassuring, if not for the pointed teeth.

"How rude of me," he bowed, a grand sweeping gesture. "I am Pitch Black."

"The Boogyman?" This time Jack didn't attempt to hide his squeak.

The spirit of winter had heard of him from other legends and immortal beings, usually in hushed respectfully terrified voices. The guy was said to never leave his realm (conveniently located behind any closet door), preferring instead to let his legions of monsters do his dirty work. You didn't mess with Black or his monsters; any who tried were never seen nor heard from again.

Jack gulped. "What do you want?"

Pitch walked forward, arms pleasantly crossed behind his back. "It is not simply what I want, Mr. Frost. But first, would you be so kind as to inform me of your speciality? Nicolas was rather scant on the details."

"Uh," the teen eased himself backwards. "Snow days, mostly. Getting out of school to have fun. That kind of thing."

Pitch hummed with polite interest, before rounding on the boy. "Do you know what my 'center' is Mr. Frost?"

The pale spirit shook his head, standing tall against the intimidating profile of fear.

"I am the King of Nightmares and Fear. Humans cower when I approach, checking every dark corner for my presence. But that is not all that I am, despite what may once have been believed by myself and others."

Pitch's eyes unfocused in momentary memory, before snapping back to Jack. "I am that which all humans have feared since the dawn of time, the Unknown. Or at least I was, until you got involved."

Jack shifted his staff into a more defensive position. "Hey, I didn't do anything!"

Pitch rounded on him, a grin splitting his grey face. "Of course you did. You accosted one of my citizens with your magic, and he became infected with some strange new ideas of how to run my world."

"What the big blue furry guy? All I did was throw a snowball at him! He needed to have more fun!"

"Exactly!" The shadows of the room lengthened as Pitch approached. Jack's knees bumped against North's couch. "And that Jack Frost is why-" Jack closed his eyes waiting for the blow- "I would like to offer you a job."

"What?" The frost sprite opened his eyes, blinking fast in confusion.

"A job, Mr. Frost. Temporary consultation for the new direction my company wishes to pursue."

"What?" The teen's brain tried desperately to fire a neuron. "I thought you were angry?"

Pitch smiled, sending a chill down Jack's spine. "For corrupting one of my monsters with your 'fun' magic? Yes, I was, however I am a business man Mr. Frost. Children do not need to only view the unknown with fear anymore, it seems. I can see an opportunity when it arrives at my door."

Thus, a very befuddled Jack Frost found himself as the senior assistant vice president of Monster's Incorporated. The position included all the lemon flavored snow cones he could eat, and a nice air conditioned office for those pesky summer months he would otherwise be spending asleep in the antarctic.

...

...

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: 
> 
> Come on, no one has thought of this crossover? Seriously? An entire society run off scaring kids, and Pitch Black has nothing to do with it? Puh-leeze!
> 
> Unearthed this from my files.
> 
> Please review on the way out!


End file.
